The Big Rock

Out in the middle of nowhere in central Australia is a huge rock. This is that rock. Uluru is a sacred site to the Aboriginal people and we were lucky enough to hike around it and grab a few photos. Far too often we look at man made objects as sacred and ignore that which came before you and me. Sorry, I got a little deep there for a second. (!)

OZ Flashback!

Check out some photos from The Perth Royal Show! Heather and I attend this years show with our good friend Sarah and had a blast. Want more awesome photos??? Click on the links in the photos galore section on the right hand side of the blog.




ALPACAS!!!!!!

LINKS!

A soon to be regular feature on LoadedChilidog, the LINKS! posts are gonna be filled with some rather cool stuff yours truly finds out there on the interwebs. Hope you enjoy.

Killer Whales KILLING!

Need a Dinner Plan??

The Other White Meat

SUPER EMO FRIENDS!

Poinsettias aren't so bad after all.

CLIP OF THE DAY!!

aaaaaaaaaaaand WE"RE BACK!

After 18 days of adventure through Australia (and 10 days in the Heart of Texas) we're back in Orlando!
I'll have pics to share and stories to tell very soon once I get everything all sorted out from the trip.

Boom Boom POW!

It felt really good to sleep in today. We made a quick trip to Fremantle so Heather could get some sunglasses she saw in Didgeridoo Breath. What a great little place to hang out. Later we hooked up with Sara and did some shopping for our hiking adventure. We needed some hiking socks, bags for our packs to travel safely on the airlines and anything else that we aren’t thinking we’ll need. IKEA! Yeah, we introduced Sara to the world of IKEA and that she really can get something awesome from this huge Swedish building. Back at the apartment we changed and headed off to see The Black Eyed Peas at the Burswood Dome. All walks of life were present in the queue for the doors to open. Normal people, old people, bushpeople, and interestingly enough teens who felt that they needed to dress to kill for this event. Skirts short enough to tell your religion and heels high enough to make any 15 year old girl 7 feet tall. Some looked reasonable, most looked ridiculous. The show opened with a crew from LA called LMFAO. I’d call them a glorified college party band. With song titles like: “I am not a whore” , “I’m in Miami Bitch”, and “Party People” you get the idea. I suppose any promoter could see that these two guys with their tiny dancer girl and goofy sidekick could appeal to anyone liking TBEP, but it’s a stretch..kind of. The Peas performed pretty much every song I’ve ever heard from them as well as all of Fergie’s solo efforts. The laser lights and effects weren’t bad and definitely gave their show here a real boost. I’d say for me the limit of the show’s appeal was the jazz band sequence with a button mashing trumpet solo from the keytar player. Go ahead and read that last part again. All in all a great show and a good night.

Movie Night

Went to see Couples Retreat with Heather and Sara. It was a decent movie I suppose. I am definitely a huge fan of anything Vince Vaugn does with Jon Favreau. This is no Swingers or Made but its right up there with The Break Up as being a decent film worth your time.

Wake up in the late afternoon.

Other than Heather working for a bit, its been a Lazy Sunday here in Perth.

Orchestra

Went to see the London Philharmonic Orchestra. An absolutely wonderful concert to say the least. My only comment is that the French Horns stole the show for me. Good grief they were so good. I suppose the conductor was all right as well as the entire ensemble, but my money was on the Horns.

Alpaca out of nowhere!

Hopped on the train earlier today and went to the Perth Royal Show with Heather and Sara. The best way to describe the Show is to combine everything about your county/state fair into one single Show. You have livestock shows, dog shows, log chopping, tractors, hamburgers, chicken contests, ferris wheels, camel riding, games, shows, fireworks, and SHOW BAGS! Beyond anything offered at the Show the SHOW BAGS are the big draw for attendees. Basically a SHOW BAG is a goodie bag in which the contents are connected to the central theme of the bag. For example, the "Men's Health" SHOW BAG would have copies of the magazine, a few shaving products (that are advertised in the magazine) and a few other items that men (who would ordinarily subscribe to the magazine) would use/need. The Wonka Candy SHOW BAG would thus contain candies from Wonka and so forth and so on. All across the showgrounds were stalls selling all manner of SHOW BAGS to kids and adults alike. I had my eye on a certain Super Mario SHOW BAG due to its inclusion of a Mario sling bag. Hmmmmm. Sara gave us the tour and in no time we were viewing award winning cakes, cows, pigs, and Alpacas! If you ever get the chance to feel Alpaca wool I highly recommend doing so. Its so soft you wanna go hug an Alpaca! I just like saying that word, Alpaca. Go on, say Alpaca. yeah!

Is your name not Bruce?

Thanks to Taylor Jenkins for bringing this old Monty Python sketch back into circulation.

Surfin' Safari

Surf camp!
We bused to Lancelin and got started right away. By midday I was up on the board actually surfing. Granted that was only about 2 seconds worth of actual surfing, but totally worth the effort. It was a small group of us for the weekend which made the thought of getting lost out to sea a little easier to take considering the instructor had very few of us to count. Donning the wet suit again for the 3rd weekend in a row wasn’t very exciting at all. At this point I’m sick of wet suits and would like very much to try a new activity that doesn’t require one. We suited up, grabbed our boards and headed for the beach just over the dunes. The surf lesson started just like we thought it would: laying on top the board on the beach while pretending to paddle the water. Moments later we were in the water attempting to catch some waves. I suppose the hardest part of learning to surf isn’t really catching the waves but getting blasted by the oncoming waves that you aren’t attempting to catch. It’s like trying to walk a huge dog in a hurricane. (I guess…) By midday Heather and I had caught a few waves (a few waves caught us) and we were ready to beach it for a while. During lunch we got to know our fellow student surfers and I had a chance to talk with a guy from Sweden who had visited Wyoming. Yeah, Wyoming. What’s a Swedish guy looking for in Wyoming? I really wish I asked him that. I just sorted nodded my head and sounded interested at the time thinking he would follow up with something worthwhile. Blasted. The afternoon was well spent fighting waves and getting up on the giant foam boards we were using. Our instructor Howie called us in about 3pm to get packed up for the hostel so we could check-in and have our BBQ. Ideally sliding on the boards down the dunes to the truck would have been the ideal way to get everything back to the parking lot, however Howie felt that actually carrying the boards and walking was a much better method of getting back to the surf truck. Sigh. Packed up and smelling like a fish butt, we piled into the bus and drove off towards the hostel. The brochure promised us "an Australian BBQ" of which we were very excited to receive after a long day of fighting waves and getting sunburned. At the hostel the crowd was getting their rooms assigned when Howie pulled Heather and me aside to show us what he had brought for the BBQ. He had a tray of frozen steaks and sausages, vegetables for salad, and cereal for breakfast in the morning. Oh yeah, lets not forget the Vegemite! Once he showed us all the food he sorta just left the hostel. I suppose when teh brochure stated we would be enjoying a BBQ it meant, "the BBQ you will prepare yourself at the hostel." WHAT A RIP! That being said we regrouped and headed off to the pub for some drinks. Ideally this would allow enough time to thaw the steaks. A few hours later the grilled was fired and dinner was on its way. Even though we had to BBQ ourselves it really brought our little group together and we ended up having a blast.

They say its your birthday?

Today I turned 29. Do I feel 29? What does that even mean?! I'm not certain what to say when people ask me if I feel a certain age. No matter my age through the years, whenever i wake up in the morning I always feel 80 years old. Whenever I see it snowing I feel 10 years old. That new car smell takes me back to 16. I could go on and on with this. I suppose the adage of "you're only as old as you feel" stands to be true. I wish that I had some wisdom to share here but the best I can do is share with you something that has guided me for a long, long time. It's kinda corny but anybody who really knows me can agree that all we need is a day off.

Adventure!

Picked up our hiking boots today for the Tasmanian adventure! Last week Heather found an amazing auction on eBay for some North Face packs that was almost too good to be true. A few clicks later and they were ours. They were delivered the other day (straight from Hong Kong) and I'm not disappointed with them at all. We've almost got everything together for our backpacking adventure next month.

We're in the ScubaSquad.

Rockingham Dive Trail was the site of our the final dives for class. We had a single skill left to complete and then we would be certified scuba divers. The beach was filled with shells and seaweed carried in from the moderate current pushing from the ocean. For me the worst part of today was getting from the beach out to the buoy and from the buoy back to the beach. The actual diving part is so much fun! Its so exhausting to carry all that equipment on your back as you swim out against the waves and current to the dive spot. Coming back to shore isn’t as bad but still tiring. The dive trail is a series of sunken planes and boats that are connected by a cord that you follow through the course. Heather and I saw starfish, crabs, fish, coral, and a host of other sea creatures. The dives went really well and it felt great to actually be scuba diving in the sea rather than in a swimming pool or murky river water. We made our way slowly out of the ocean and back to the parking lot. We packed everything away and headed back to the shop to fill out the necessary paperwork and make it official. It felt really great to sign off on everything and know that the effort was all worth it. Our instructor came around and signed our log books for each dive and finalized the paperwork. With beer in hand (his own way of celebrating another class finished) he congratulated us on a job well done. :)

Success!

Today was the river dive to complete our skills in actual open water. Visibility was awful and we couldn’t see anything with the murky water. Before we left the shop our instructor issued us wet suit hoods to keep us warm in the cold ass river water. Once you were down and settled on the bottom it wasn’t cold at all except for your hands. Gloves were needed next time. We completed our skills and finned around for a bit before coming back on shore. I can't wait to actually dive and see something other than particles floating around. A successful (and tiring) dive day to say the least. Back at the shop we hosed off all our gear and took the final exam. And...........We passed!!! I was tremendously worried about it and knew for sure I wouldn’t do well at all. I guess I was wrong. :) Tomorrow's ocean dives are the last thing we have to do before becoming certified. (!)

Testing 1,2,3.

Studying for our PADI exam.

The Weight.

Second day of scuba diving class: Pool day. We started with a simple (yeah right) 400 meter swim and 10-minute float exercise. We then put on all our gear and entered the pool. Thankfully the gear is much lighter in the water than on land. After a few safety exercises and drills we were ready to actually scuba dive. The instructor let us dive and fin the length of the pool and back. On our return trip I could see the whole class of people and it suddenly hit me that I was scuba diving. Needless to say I was very excited. We stopped for lunch and to catch our breath. All that equipment strapped to you really puts a strain on your body. Especially the weight belt! Our afternoon session was in another pool that was much deeper and suited better for scuba. Most of our session was spent on the bottom of the 4-meter pool. Learning hand signals, equalization, rescue breathing, and more safety measures for a few hours can really tire you out. I became really exhausted towards the end of the session but thankfully there were only a few exercises to go before the end of the day. All in all the worst part so far of scuba is carrying the equipment around. Good grief that crap is heavy. The weight belt and talk are the worst. Eventhough it was an exhausting day we’re halfway to getting through this learning process and that much closer to being actual certified scuba divers.

Scuba!

First day of scuba diving class. There was a lot of information to digest during our all day classroom experience. Looking forward to actually getting into the water and doing something other than memorize calculations of atmospheres and depth. A mentally exhausting day but well worth it. Little did we know that there was so much involved with strapping on a tank of air, some fins and a mask while you search for sunken treasure!

Breathe In.

Our last didgeridoo lesson was tonight. Kinda sad because we’ve only had four lessons but really had a great time. What began as a “If you’re in Oz you gotta do this” thought became a very, very interesting and rewarding thing to do. We’ll plan on keeping up with the instrument as much as we can to get our techniques refined. Its definitely not as easy as it looks! Thankfully the shop in Fremantle where we took our lessons invited us to come and practice there anytime. Below is a video of our instructor Levi filmed during last year's concert.

Get on the Bus.

We left the monastery behind and drove to Lancelin. The route we drove would wind around the farmland and then head straight to the coastline. The farmland opened up and pasture after pasture was spread out before us as we kept on driving. We must have passed at least a thousand sheep on our way. The road curved sharply and the dirt on the shoulder became a little sandy. The crest of a hill showed us the roaring Indian Ocean and signs for the little beach bum town of Lancelin. Other than residential homes, Lancelin has very few stores or businesses. Those they do have are very local and well worth your time. We checked into the hostel and put our gear in our room. It was father’s day weekend in Oz and a group of dads and sons were staying in the hostel celebrating in the same way Aussies celebrate anything: Beer, BBQ, and The Footy. (oh yeah and ping-pong. Not really a staple of the OZ lifestyle but well worth mentioning here.) The Endeavor Pub in Lancelin is where we found a hearty meal and a pint. The cold ocean breeze blew into the pub and signaled that I should warm up with another pint. The place was filled with locals eating, drinking, gambling, and just enjoying life. The Fish n’ Chips weren’t bad either so it got my vote.
Lancelin is the windsurfing capital of the world (so they say) but Heather and I weren’t there for the windsurfing. We were there for the Monster Bus. The dunes of Lancelin cover about 400 acres and attract all kinds of weirdoes with insane off road vehicles. We were about to ride in one of them. The north edge of town disappears into the dunes like a flood eats a village. In the parking lot (well, basically it’s a shoveled out dune area where you won’t get stuck.) were a few cars that in no way could survive a drive across sand dunes much less across town. In the lot we talked a young guy named Mick who was there with his buddies and their dirt bikes having a god time. Mick's white van was full of bags, guitars, and equipment boxes. His dreadlocks, tattoos, and extremely laid back Oz accent assured me that this was one guy who knew how to have a good time. I later learned that he works the rigging for Cirque du Soleil. Very cool. He jumped in an SUV and raced into town with his buddies. Their quick exit can only mean one thing: beer run.
HONK! HONK! From the roadway you could see nothing but tires. Looking up, the glazed yellow paint reflected the sun back into your eyes. The sound was both menacing and worrisome. When it braked to a stop what was before us had never been seen with these two eyes. It was the Monster Bus. A 20ft tall coach bus sitting on monster truck tires. If Bigfoot saw this he would shed a tear. I would spend more time describing this monstrosity but I think you can picture it. The driver climbed down via a drop down ladder in the rear. I looked around and noticed that we were surrounded by a bunch of Asian tourists wearing Members Only jackets. Apparently when we were gawking at the Monster Bus their tour-bus unloaded. (I'd make some sort of Godzilla reference here but that would be tacky.) Once the driver (a crazy Aussie) took our money we climbed into the belly of the beast and took our assigned seats. Weight distribution is important in this instance so it was very important to make sure no fatties were sitting on the window seat. We roared off onto the dunes. Now I’ve been offroading before many times, but nothing like this. The bus dwarfed everything out there. Nobody in eyesight could look away from us as we charged up dunes at a literal vertical ascent. Likewise, the driver took no time in delaying us going down said dunes at a literal vertical descent. This is no joke. Usually I would be absolutely terrified but since we were on the ground (essentially) it was an awesome ride.
The driver parked the bus and we all hopped out to do some sandboarding. Basically, you sit or lay on a snowboard and slide down the dunes. It was fun don’t get me wrong, but walking up a fricking sand dune isn’t fun. No sir. The Asian tourist group with us decided to not pay attention to their translator and go off from the group and have some fun. The driver was not happy. Whatever. We had a good time. Back in the bus we buckled in and prepared to return to the parking lot. The driver put the bus in reverse and we backed down a vertical sand dune. Yeah, read that again. In the parking lot we shook the sand off ourselves and watched as the Monster Bus drove away exciting everyone in its path.

Monks Vol. 2

Packing our bags from the night we scampered out of the room just as the maids were coming round. In the daylight the artwork and restoration of this hotel was absolutely marvelous. The best way to describe it would be to say that it’s the perfect house to hold one of those murder-mystery dinners. Outside we armed ourselves with cameras and began to document the hotel. Yeah, we’re still tourists sometime. Down at the museum gallery we bought our tickets for the tour and waited with a busload of travelers on their hurried way through the next stop. The tour took us through every building on the property except for a few that are solely the residence of the monks. Each building had its own chapel that ranged in appearance and decoration from modern to early 19th century. The artwork and sculpting were unbelievable. Each chapel is in some form of renovation or repair. The next few buildings were originally built for the school system at the monastery. Having genders as well as colors (white and aboriginal) separated in the system required a building for each. After the tour we walked around the property and gazed at the beautiful farm landscape. The green hills rolled through the pastures of sheep and up to the forest, down and around the creek. Living in this part of the world wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for that whole being a monk thing. ;)

Monks Vol. 2

Packing our bags from the night we scampered out of the room just as the maids were coming round. In the daylight the artwork and restoration of this hotel was absolutely marvelous. The best way to describe it would be to say that it’s the perfect house to hold one of those murder-mystery dinners. Outside we armed ourselves with cameras and began to document the hotel. Yeah, we’re still tourists sometime. Down at the museum gallery we bought our tickets for the tour and waited with a busload of travelers on their hurried way through the next stop. The tour took us through every building on the property except for a few that are solely the residence of the monks. Each building had its own chapel that ranged in appearance and decoration from modern to early 19th century. The artwork and sculpting were unbelievable. Each chapel is in some form of renovation or repair. The next few buildings were originally built for the school system at the monastery. Having genders as well as colors (white and aboriginal) separated in the system required a building for each. After the tour we walked around the property and gazed at the beautiful farm landscape. The green hills rolled through the pastures of sheep and up to the forest, down and around the creek. Living in this part of the world wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for that whole being a monk thing. ;)

Monks

Picked up a rental car today and attempted to drive it back to the apartment without freaking out. Not only has it been months since I've actually driven a car but now I have to sit on the opposite side of the car and drive on the opposite side of the highway. We packed the car and drove up the Great Northern Highway towards New Norcia. I successfully passed some road trains (18-wheelers with more than one trailer) on the way and tried my best to not run us off the road when the lines on the pavement disappeared. A few hours later we arrived at this great hotel in New Norcia run by the monks. From the outside it has an odd appearance of a plantation house. Inside there was obviously a pub and rooms filled with amazing art and fireplaces. Upstairs via a double grand staircase were the guest rooms unchanged since the days this place was opened as a hostel for parents coming to visit their children while there were being educated at the monastery schools. Our spartan room came equipped with an electric heater and a small refrigerator. The bathrooms/shower rooms were down the hall and shared with all guests on the floor. The pub downstairs was very quaint and filled with what could only be called “regulars.” We ordered dinner just as the kitchen was closing. One of the draws to this place was the Abbey Ale that is specifically brewed here for the monks and sold only on the premises. We each ordered a glass of the ale and enjoyed our bangers and mash in this monastic hotel. When we retired for the evening the floorboards creaked all the way into bed. Kinda eerie but I suppose I shouldn't worry, right? It is a monastery.

Basterds

Tonight we saw what could possibly be Quentin Tarantino's best film yet.

Sport Part Deux

RUGBY!

Here are a few things we learned from our rugby experience:
1. The "Oval" is ridiculously huge. No matter where you sit, you're a mile away from the players.
2. Rugby fans are no match for soccer fans. In the whole time we were at the rugby match I only heard 3 obscenities shouted at the players.
3. If you play rugby you like to hit people.

Sport

Tonight we had the opportunity to witness a spectacle unknown to us so far in our trip: Australian Soccer. You'll notice that there aren't any pictures taken actually during the game. There's a good reason: Its a madhouse. The stands are filled with people so involved with the game that words and pictures fail to describe the experience. Obscene chants directed towards opposing players using language that I've never heard used outside in public. Full cups of beer were splashing everywhere without a single degree of control. The excitement and tension levels inside the stands were exponentially greater than that created by the actual soccer players. The members section dubbed "The shed" was literally, a shed. Not just a cute name to suffice, no sir. Standing room only and wrapped 3 sides and a roof with metal sheeting. One particular fan spent most of the game pounding his fists on the metal siding to help engage us in the obscene chants. It was wonderful. The best part? Perth won the game!
Once the madness subsided I could grab a shot of the stadium and our friends.

Rottnest Island Day Three

Our last day on the island was a sad one. This paradise just off the west coast of Oz is an amazing place even in the winter time. We can't imagine what kind of atmosphere this place generates in the summer sunshine. I'll leave it with a few photos but check out our flickr page to see more from our trip.

Rottnest Island Day Two

We get an early start on our day for the 15 mile bike ride around the island. Here are a few shots from the adventure.

Rottnest Island Day One

IMG_0773, originally uploaded by Loaded Chilidog.

The only way out to the island is aboard this express boat from Fremantle. I didn't take any photos of the journey because Heather took a wonderful video documenting the choppy seas and its effects on us.

The only car traffic on the island are the service vehicles and tour buses operated by the park service. Everybody else uses bikes to get around. We rented these two for the weekend.


This is a Quokka. The island is full of these little critters. They're in the marsupial family and have a great attitude towards humans. Here's some more info.


Heather checks out one of the many beaches on Rottnest.


Before we even checked into our room at the lodge we caught this peacock pecking at the window.

Just Chillin'

IMG_0419, originally uploaded by Loaded Chilidog.

Kangaroos aren't so different from you and me. However, they have a pouch to raise their young while I have to buy a fanny pack to carry around my personal belongings. Advantage: Kangaroos.

Knives.

This is why I'm nice to everyone I see on the street in Oz.

Would they be called "Mannies?"

Denied again. This is my 3rd trip to the meat market they call the aussijobs.com employment office. This time though I got a little further along in the process before they gave up on me. In the office sat 3 backpackers from Estonia, 2 from Britain, and a handful from Sweden or Finland (Can’t really remember all the details). Once you sign the list to be interviewed you find a chair and wait. One intrepid young man had waited literally all day for a job to be listed to suit his qualifications. I think he wanted to work on a farm and had some special trade skill like sheep shearing or something. I sat and waited my turn. The office was formerly a salon that was quickly gutted to make room for a few desks. Behind me was a gigantic mirrored wall that had stack after stack of dusty aussie hairstyling magazines and variations on the Cosmopolitan and Women’s Day magazines available here. I decided to leave the magazines alone fearing the stack would fall and crush an Estonian in the process. I don’t know any Estonians but I don’t want to be the first American to off one with periodicals. The interview desk at my right was crowded with some guys from Sweden or Finland. Their accents sounded familiar to me but I couldn’t place it. They were farmhands looking for anything in WA where they could work together on the same farm. The opposite desk was interviewing a few girls from Britain. I couldn’t quite hear what was transpiring at that desk so we’ll move on with the story. I dozed off for a minute or two before a young Japanese man wearing a business suit walking into the office awakened me. Apparently he thought this office was for a real job that required suits and not just an office where backpackers come to find menial work to support themselves. He quickly surveyed the office and turned to leave. By this time the Brit girls had left the desk as well as the farmhands. I perked up a little thinking I may be next on the list. One of the Interviewers made an announcement “We’ve got no jobs for men or jobs in Perth.” Dammit. Two Strikes! Though I remember seeing “Nannies” on the list of possible jobs available from the office. I spoke up “What about men working jobs for women?” I felt that my years of pet care could translate somehow to childcare. It’s not too much of a stretch, right? Cleaning up poop, feeding, playing around, and giving medicine all are tasks that could apply to either children or pets. I stared down the interviewer after my question hoping she would bend the gender rules of the office. “No jobs for men!” she bellowed. The Estonians were shocked at this sudden outburst. “Come back tomorrow and we’ll see what we’ve got,” she continued. I picked up my bag, slung it over my shoulder and headed out of the office. “Too bad” I thought, “I would have made a great nanny.”

Disclosure checklists from hell!

I really did not want to use this blog to vent my work frustrations but I can’t resist any longer. Financial statements in OZ, and possibly other parts of the world are ten times more annoying and only half as informative as US statements. The disclosure requirements here are crazy.

For all of you US auditors out there who roll there eyes and sigh every time they have to go through a disclosure checklist, STOP complaining. The Australian listed company checklist for a commercial company with minimal technical issues is 798 questions that’s right 798. But wait that is only one checklist there are three ADDITIONAL checklist that provide 158 more ways to put me to sleep. There is actually a question that asks if the report is in English! I would hate to see how long a Checklist is for a Company that had fun stuff like investments.

At first glance it seems that there are less disclosure requirements here. My first client’s financials have a note for $2M dollars in deferred vendor payments that just regurgitates the face and never tells you what they are for. Upon closer inspection you will find that they are required to disclose more then the US when it comes to governance and less when it comes to the actual numbers. Every report issued under Australian Standards and possibly IFRS, the line between the two is still a little blurry, has to have a directors report that includes the structure of the board, the members and purpose of each committee, the qualifications of each board member, how many meetings, both general and committee, they attended during the year, the frame work of governance and 20 other pages of exciting information.

I never thought I would say this but can I please go back to the 30 page US checklist!

Indigenous Instruments

Didgeridoo Class! 13 people sat in a circle and looked ridiculous as they made funny noises with long tubes. The class was a great time and Heather seemed to really get a kick out of the noises she could produce through her didgeridoo. The instructor was very mellow and took everything in stride. A young Aussie girl couldn’t even make a noise with her didg and he didn’t even seem to mind at all. We learned some breathing techniques and towards the end attempted to learn circular breathing. (Breathing in through the nose while simultaneously blowing air out of your mouth.) We’ve got a huge amount of work to do but I think we’re both optimistic that by the time our classes are over we’ll be experts. (almost)

Links!

Check out these OZ Links!

Little Creatures Brewery - This place has excellent brews and pizzas. It even has a dog-friendly seating area outside!


Cicerellos - A great fish n' chips restaurant on the water in Fremantle. I could eat there everyday! no joke.

Bootleg Brewery - We caught up with this brewery during our weekend in Margaret River.

Planet Video - If its Monday then I'm here at Planet Video renting some great films for the week.

Dome - This is Australia's answer to Starbucks. Excellent coffee and food. I'd rather stop by here than the 'bucks any day.

Bettenay's - This is the winery we called home this weekend.

The West Australian - Our local newspaper. Yeah I know, not as exciting as the brewery but worth including.

Wino Waldo

Back from our weekend at Margaret River's wine country. We returned home with wines, but to tell you the truth we're kinda sick of wine at this point. In the few hours we toured the beautiful countryside of SW Australia there were very few moments that I didn't have a glass in my hand or wine swishing ever so lightly in my mouth. Our chalet on the Bettany Vineyard was a quaint little cottage house that in any other instance would have been perfect for an entire vacation. The bus came early (11am) to pick us up at the vineyard's tasting house. From then on we stopped at winery after winery gaining new friends and new wines to taste. Midday we were fed a "Bushtucker" lunch. (Tucker is the Australian word for food.) Essentially were were eating what most would consider a bushman's lunch. A green salad, roast beef, smoked turkey, kangaroo, assorted chutneys, olives, and pestos. The highlight of the meal was the grubs. Yes, grubs. In one of the chutneys was a few small grubs that had been marinating. By small I mean about 3 inches long. Needless to say that once the opportunity was made available to eat said grubs I jumped at the chance as well did Heather. This Australian bush grub was kinda thick and meaty with a chewy exterior. I'll save the details for the squeamish. A few other tour members shared the grub with us while others looked on in disgust. Later in the afternoon we stopped by a cheese factory to sample their amazing cheeses (and meet the cows who worked there) and then on to the Margaret River Chocolate Factory. Without question the women in the bus were more excited about the chocolate factory than the men. Our day ended at Bootleg Brewery. Our table sampled about 6 of the beers available at the brewery in huge shot glasses. The table across from us was hosting what looked to be a meeting of "Where's Waldo" fans. Every person at the table was dressed in a red/white striped shirt, red and white stocking cap, and glasses. When Heather pointed this out to me I thought the beer had gone bad and was rendering me in a state of hallucination. Turns out the beer was fantastic and the Waldo Warriors were there for a great time too. Upon leaving the establishment I saw an interesting feature to this brewery/beergarden that I can only assume is to draw in more families; a playground. What a wonderful idea! Get some drinks while the kids play on the swingset. Brilliant! With the tour over we were dropped off and back to the chalet to make plans for dinner and the next day. Our drive home on Sunday was filled with stops up the coast to check out beaches and the beautiful farmland. A great weekend away from Perth and seeing what all the fuss is about with these vineyards that are so celebrated in this country.

Trips.

Looking forward to our Margaret River weekend. The rental car is booked as well as our accommodations at a winery. We’re staying at a winery, touring wineries, and possibly in our free time checking out some pubs and chocolate factories. Good grief.
Looking at our calendar it’s apparent that we have very few weekends remaining. Today was spent trying to get a dive shop to schedule our certification classes as well as our first dives. We’re both psyched about becoming scuba divers and crossing that off our so-called bucket list. Once we secured a dive shop and were able to get a decent rate for everything the next challenge was getting our surfing camp scheduled. Heather made the calls and came back with confirmation that our surf weekend was booked. Minutes later the surfers called her back with a very important question they forgot to ask: Are you vegan? I think I’m going to like this place.

Our runway début

Financial Ball243, originally uploaded by Loaded Chilidog.

Checkout more pics of the ball

Tally

1 Shoeless pink headband wearing crazy bushman. (Do I get a bonus point for sitting next to him on the train?)

Who's name is that?

A few days ago I finished reading my Bill Bryson book on Australia. It was such a great read and has peaked my interest in all things Oz, especially history. In Bryson’s book he mentioned some of his sources and thankfully I underlined them for later reference. Now I’ve been trying to get my book list completed for some time and since September of last year I’ve done a decent job of tackling the titles I’ve been scribbling down for years. However, I didn’t realize how much of an impact this trip and the Bryson book would have on my curiosity. Robert Hugh’s history of Australia, The Fatal Shore, was mentioned quite a bit not only for filling in some gaps but also taking a matter of fact glance at how the history is perceived by the world as well as the people of Australia. This book seemed like a pleasant detour from my list. I checked out a few bookshops and found that even used books in this city are expensive. An average paperback book in Borders runs you about $40-$50. I really wanted to read this book but not shell out that much for even a used one. I stopped by the State Library of Western Australia here in Perth to get a library card and start reading. The lady at the desk was helpful and evidently had recited the spiel numerous times so much so that the Australian inflection in her voice was gone. Apparently the state libraries are for reference only and not for checking out materials. I’m gonna say that I was dumbfounded and stood there for about 5 seconds with my head cocked to the side. I really didn’t understand. She handed me the pamphlet for the city library downtown and attempted a smile that would make me go away. What kind of library doesn’t allow you to check out materials?? Why is it even called a library? Across town in the basement of a governmental building is the real library of Perth. Walking in I saw the memberships desk and proceeded to take out my ID and a letter from the bank with my address on it. Without boring you for 10 minutes with all the details I’ll just say that the people here are very nice but occasionally their hospitality overrides their brains. There I said it. I had all the forms completed and the staff member assisting me dumbfounded by the end of our ordeal. Apparently the biggest hurdle we had to climb was the name of Heather’s employer. I had to list a reference in case I ran off with the books or they couldn’t reach me through the usual channels. Fine. I listed her info and told them that I wasn’t certain of her employer’s address but all other info was correct. The name of Heather’s company is Grant Thornton. The staff member couldn’t wrap her head about the fact that the name of Heather’s company also looks and sounds like a person’s name. Our confusion began here. After a Google search and confirmation through the search engine the staff member agreed I was right and jotted down the pertinent information. Minutes later I had a library card and a copy of The Fatal Shore in my hand. Mission accomplished.

The Blue and Gold.

Of all the changes we’ve experienced since arriving its nice to know there is one constant in this crazy mixed up world, IKEA. Yes, the big blue and yellow store found the world over is right here in Perth and well deserving of a trip to check it out. A few train stops later and we’re on the station platform looking over at this absolutely huge store in the distance. Inside it was like any other IKEA. Though there were a few more languages bouncing around and the hotdogs were larger (and more expensive) than we’ve expected. The IKEA hotdog is an important element to the IKEA experience. Didn't you know this? Here are the steps to make your IKEA Experience a most rewarding one.
Step One. Go to the quick serve restaurant near the cash registers and purchase at least one hotdog and a refillable drink.
Step Two. Once you’ve finished eating refill the drink cup. (Purchase more hotdogs if necessary.)
Step Three. Walk around the store perusing all the great items with a full stomach and drink.
We do this not only to starve off the hunger pangs but also to get that full-relaxed feeling to ambulate through the store at an easy pace. Those of you unfamiliar with the IKEA Experience steps please head out to your nearest IKEA and follow steps One through Three. Go ahead, I'll wait.

To each their own?

Tonight’s entertainment at the restaurant was a few idiots playing live music. I say that with hatred and simple language but its all I’ve got in me to describe my feelings toward live music. No matter the venue; restaurant, bar, or café the music is so unbelievably loud. I’m a music guy. I love loud music but the single idiot with his guitar playing to a small café of people doesn’t need to be heard 10 blocks away. Whatever happened to just letting the music become the background? I hate, absolutely hate shouting at people just to talk to them in one of these places. There is no reason for your music to be that loud. You’re not very good anyway. Turn that crap down! Or better yet forget about amplification and go completely acoustic! Isn’t that the most natural form of your guitar strumming idiot lifestyle? All of these guys are the same. I stare at the guitar player this evening. I wonder why he is literally yelling his sweet, sweet ballad into the microphone. I stare at the sound guy behind the huge box of switches and lights. Why isn’t he correcting this problem? I look back at the guitar idiot. Maybe his music is ok but you can’t hear it over the amplification and yelling. No. No its not. I admire artists who push the limits and ride the edge. I admire artists who take something great and make it better. I admire artists who turn the natural into the unnatural. I love artists who make me think and want to be a better human. I hate these guitar-strumming idiots in cafes who crank their volume up so high that I want to leave. There I said it. Live music sucks. Can't a guy get a meal or a pint without losing his hearing these days? AND GET OFF MY LAWN DAG-NABBIT!

The Lettuce is not Lettuce.

The Moon café in Northbridge is a hipster joint. The front resembles a trendy diner and the rear more of a comfy chair sitting and dining arrangement. Heather and I order some hamburgers and fries from the menu. It is the only normal food on the menu and by normal I mean under $35. What catches my guard is the inclusion of beetroot lettuce on the burger. As we all know I hate beets with a passion. Thinking that the lettuce of the beet would be ok (and an interesting thing to try) I made no substitutions on the burger. We talk with the Welsh guy beside me in between his glasses of wine. He seems interesting even though I don't understand half of what he is saying. Our food arrives and it looks like paradise: Huge burger and a huge plate of fries to go with it. During the melee of loud music, screaming conversation and general hunger a few things came to pass all too quickly. I’ll try my best now to lay them all out in a more organized fashion then they occurred.
While trying to keep a nice flow of conversation going with a few people simultaneously we dove into our burger and fries without looking too much like beasts at the trough. I pulled my apart because of my curiosity for this beetroot lettuce. On the left bun was a small pale mound of meat like substance that in my opinion resembled a hamburger enough for my purposes tonight. Frankly, in my years I’ve eaten enough non-meat looking hamburgers to choke a donkey so we had no qualms here. On the right bun was the array of toppings that in whole accounted for more than 60% of the actual “burger.” I forked through the shredded lettuce and tomato to see the horror of horrors. Before me sitting in a pink liquid soaked bun were three slices of beets. I sat staring at them like I was looking down on a crime scene. I was disgusted. Repulsed! For too long I’ve been avoiding them like the plague. They caught up with me finally. Touché Beets. Heather finally noticed what was transpiring. She saw the beets. She saw my face. Deep down inside I knew she chuckled a little. Never before in the entire term of our relationship have I ever, ever, ever picked at my food to remove anything. I have always prided myself on having the stomach for anything, except beets. Tonight I was humbled. How can you know your enemy if you never face him? The meat-ish burger only was eaten while the remainder left behind on the plate. A few minutes later while we’re picking away at our fries a young Belgian comes in to join us. He sits next to Heather. As she and I are talking the Belgian leans over and picks at Heather’s plate without a single departure in character. We look at each other and agree that what happened just happened. The Belgian picked away some more while talking about his future exploits in Australia. His plan to rent a truck and drive clockwise around the continent sounded amazingly ballsy. The Welshman agreed. (Though we couldn’t understand a word that he said.)

Censorship

One topic of discussion that has eluded me for a few days has been censorship. Being a European colony still I knew that standards would be looser than the States. The network television stations are slightly more racy in the later hours than the States. After 10pm it’s not uncommon for them to show programs and movies that would have a heavy R rating in the states. An example of this late night programming would be the film Mulholland Drive. Out in the real world there really isn’t any constant indication of a looser standard of censorship. The biggest brush we had with something like that would be the music in a shoe store earlier today. A hip-hop song was playing and as usual I wasn’t really paying any attention to it. What did catch our attention were the explicit lyrics of a particular verse in the song. We looked up and saw no mother clutching her daughter’s ears in horror, we saw no old ladies grimacing at the shopkeeper, we saw no looks of disgust. People just moved on with their shopping. Now, you could argue that the sale was so distracting that no one noticed or perhaps nobody cared. I don’t really know. It was midday on a Sunday and the stores were full of people young and old. I’m still interested to see more of this country’s culture and how it reflects its European mother country.

Sounds from the Street

Street Sounds
Originally uploaded by Loaded Chilidog

Old and New

IMGP0341
Originally uploaded by Loaded Chilidog

Downtown is full of both old and new buildings. It odd but yet beautiful to see these gorgeous old English buildings beside towering heaps of metal and glass.

Check out the sidebar for more photos of Perth and our adventures.

GT down under

IMGP0100
Originally uploaded by Loaded Chilidog

Here is a quick pic of the GT building. We are technically on the second and third floors but they call the first floor the ground floor so we are on the first and second floors. The interior has been recently remodelled and is a european/modern style with lots of fun colors and wall art. The audit pit is on the second or top floor and has an actual break room with numerous amenities, a flat screen and a patio. A video tour of the office with more pictures will be coming soon.

???

Why are all the phone numbers ordered differently each time I see one?? “Dial 13 56 77” or “Dial 0445563821” or “Dial 2789 455 1199”. This doesn’t make sense to me yet.

Local Footie Practice

Local Footie Practive
Originally uploaded by Loaded Chilidog

Even when playing by yourself footie can get pretty rough, you should always wear elbow and knee pads.

Patrick's Aussie counterpart ??

This is one of the Directors here in the land of OZ. When I first saw him I thought he looked like a outback version of Patrick. What do you think? I also saw an Australian version of Robert Boyd in an electronic store but I thought it would be rude to just snap a picture. The funniest part was that he was not wearing any shoes. I guess the no shirt no shoes no service policy does not apply here.

Climbing

I spent most of today right here at this computer pounding away at the keys in hopes to get all these journal entries updated and not miss a single detail. Bringing my computer along with me has proven to be quite helpful in getting all these writing projects off the ground. I have so few distractions here that I can commit a good few hours each day to writing and making some of this stuff come to life. I took a break earlier today to go rent some movies from Planet Video. So far we’ve found a few shows on Australian TV that are fun to watch and quite a number that frankly aren’t. Police Action/Drama is a popular genre as well as plain old Drama. Its funny to watch some of their cop shows because most constables here wear a blue and white checked baseball cap when they’re on patrol. It sort of puts a Benny Hill spin on everything. The dramatic shows are all soap opera bred but without the tense music and awkward close-ups. I’d rather watch a Spanish soap opera where the men are all wearing ridiculous moustaches and constantly crying for their gorgeous wives who are constantly cheating on them. Now that’s art! I picked a few videos and signed up for a temporary membership. Walking back to the train I thought about how nice it was to not drive and park and worry with gas or tolls just to go uptown for a dvd. Just then a Subaru sped through a puddle and splashed its contents all over my shorts. Thanks Karma.

Karma

I spent most of today right here at this computer pounding away at the keys in hopes to get all these journal entries updated and not miss a single detail. Bringing my computer along with me has proven to be quite helpful in getting all these writing projects off the ground. I have so few distractions here that I can commit a good few hours each day to writing and making some of this stuff come to life. I took a break earlier today to go rent some movies from Planet Video. So far we’ve found a few shows on Australian TV that are fun to watch and quite a number that frankly aren’t. Police Action/Drama is a popular genre as well as plain old Drama. Its funny to watch some of their cop shows because most constables here wear a blue and white checked baseball cap when they’re on patrol. It sort of puts a Benny Hill spin on everything. The dramatic shows are all soap opera bred but without the tense music and awkward close-ups. I’d rather watch a Spanish soap opera where the men are all wearing ridiculous moustaches and constantly crying for their gorgeous wives who are constantly cheating on them. Now that’s art! I picked a few videos and signed up for a temporary membership. Walking back to the train I thought about how nice it was to not drive and park and worry with gas or tolls just to go uptown for a dvd. Just then a Subaru sped through a puddle and splashed its contents all over my shorts. Thanks Karma.

What is Brangelina up to?

From just watching TV it is quite apparent that this country is just as obsessed with entertainment and celebrities as the US is. The ironic part is that they are obsessed with our shows and celebrities. There are very few Australian shows and even fewer Australian celebrities. Their American “Hollywood” reporters are portrayed as loud, brash, and very over the top with their personalities compared to the Aussie hosts on their “Today” show. People here are very low key and their speech very controlled and straightforward. Judging from the programs on the 5 channels our TV receives this country is thoroughly insane about their sports. Rugby, Cricket, and Footy (Australian Rules Football or AFL) are covered in every conceivable way. I suppose the absence of ESPN makes non-sports programming here more difficult to schedule. Of course, as is the way over here, in order to to cable you have to sign up for a year contract.

Drive Thrus

Back in early January we hosted a couple from Germany named Jenny and Michael who really opened our eyes to how the rest of the world (Europe specifically) lives. The biggest difference and the topic of most of our talks was the level of convenience. They could hardly believe that a drive through pharmacy existed. We couldn’t believe that something as simple as a fast food restaurant in Germany wouldn’t have a drive through. Seeing as how America invented and capitalized on drive through technology you’d think that even its own fast food joints would have these conveniences overseas. That being said, I’ve only seen one drive-thru fast food restaurant since we’ve been here. That restaurant is “Hungry Jacks” which is the Aussie equivalent of Burger King. Ask Heather about their sweet and sour sauce. Ha-ha

The weekend is here. We had talked about some plans for the weekend ranging from seeing a movie to going out to Fremantle and hanging by the coast. The movie sounded more our pace for today. We found an IMAX theater nearby that was showing Transformers 2 and the plan all fell into place. We booked our tickets online and noticed that here movie theater seats are assigned as though you were going to the opera. A graph of the theater is shown and your exact seats are represented in a single color. No waiting in line to get the best seats outside the theater door. Brilliant. The train took us east to the suburb where we could find the mall and its theater. We entered through the food court entrance and once inside we were bombarded with smells and sights we’ve never experienced in a mall. One side was all Asian food that looked more authentic than anything I’ve ever eaten. The other side was a mix of carver sandwiches fresh from the beast and some American standards. All the prices were consistent with our experience so far: a few dollars more than what you’d see in the States. Oh, and don’t even bother buying a drink anywhere. A bottle of Coke will run you at least $3. Heather asked me what I wanted and in no time we were chowing down on the most amazing Chinese food I’ve had since my trip to San Francisco. We poked around the mall for the next few hours checking in on some End of Financial Year Sales here and there. I would regale you with all the details but in the end it’s a mall and we could have been anywhere in the world in that mall. Funnily enough the nicest department store in the mall was Kmart. I think if my calculations are correct in Aus. Kmart is Target and Target is (almost) JCPenny. I only say that because you can’t buy laundry detergent in Target. Why is that?!?! Our chief question in going to the movies here is how much concession stand food would cost. We knew that tickets would be a few dollars more so that wasn’t a big surprise. However with food prices here being what they are we couldn’t imagine what a bag of popcorn could cost us. Heather picked up our tickets (which included exact seat numbers) and we walked to the “Candy Bar.” Too funny. Other than seeing unknown candies displayed the biggest shock was the utter lack of prices on anything advertised. Two huge lighted boards showing soda cups, candy and popcorn showed no prices at all. Genius. What better way to swindle people out of $10 for a soda than to not let them in on the game? Being the seasoned moviegoers we are popcorn is a must. No weekend movie goes without snacks! We purchase a combo and realize that the prices aren’t that bad…aren’t that bad for Australia that is. Our assigned seats were easy to find with the labeled rows and little labels on the seats. Couple that with comfy seats and a good time was had by all. After the movie I look at my watch: 6:30. “Well, what do we do now?” Heather asked, already knowing the answer. Even on Friday night the mall shuts down at 5:30. Yeah the big ass mall full of teenagers and consumers shuts down completely on Friday night at 5:30. Happily the theater continues to operate until about 11 depending on the last show time. Back on the train we agree that dinner and movies should always happen after 5. What else are you gonna do? In the apartment Heather plays her Nintendo DS while I shuffle through the 5 tv channels and try to find something worth watching. Like I said before, its all an adventure….even if you’re bored.

This morning I turned on the TV only to be caught in the mix of some huge news story the hosts were trying to relay to the viewers. The king of pop was dead. Being a child of the 80’s I grew up listening to his music and even to this day Thriller is my favorite of his catalogue. The normal 2 hour news show was extended to 5 hours in order to keep up with the developing story. All I can say is that no other news made its way through the program during those 5 hours. Weather? No. Traffic? No. Farrah Fawcett? No. I felt kinda bad for the show because the only connection they had to the story was through websites the staff were watching for updates. This whole news show and its biggest story of the day was hinging on some guy watching TMZ.com and telling the hosts what to say. I honestly don’t know how they held the show together with so little (and so wrong) information. I can’t imagine what the news shows in the US were like covering this story. Michael Jackson is probably the last great true artist/entertainer. “Musicians” in the pop world today are nothing but a Photoshopped image wrapped in scandal and given attention solely because of their celebrity. For crying out loud Britney is selling albums and tickets not because people genuinely enjoy her work but to get a glimpse of the woman on all the magazine covers who screwed up and shaved her head. The “Disney Factory” that has been pouring out these kids for years now has the system down pat. I mean look at the Jonas Brother and Hannah Montana. Who honestly thinks their music is good? MJ on the other hand had real talent and no matter the controversy surrounding him it was the music and the dancing that made him an icon. He was the last true innovator. I’m glad to know that Thriller is the #1 selling album of all time. For an 80’s kid knowing that makes me feel proud. Today all around the world music stores shelves are empty of Michael Jackson music. In an age of iTunes and illegal downloading and file sharing no one “buys” an album anymore. His fans will ensure that Thriller stays on top and I don’t believe that the likes of Hannah Montana will ever topple the King of Pop.

Caramelo Koala

Carmelo Koala
Originally uploaded by Loaded Chilidog

Cadbury regings superme in the chocolate world down under making candy that is both cute and yummy.

Success!

Success. After days of rain the skies opened up and presented to me a sunny and cool weather day to venture to Planet Video. Now I don’t want to give the impression that I flew all the way to Australia just to sit in an apartment and watch DVDs all day. Film is such a part of my life that its tough for me to travel to a modern international city and not seek out its film culture. If we traveled to a place where television and films were hard to come by then I would at least respect the culture and its people. Everywhere you look Australia is sucking as much as it can from American media. The media culture here is frustrating to me because I am so interested in the country’s own films which seem to have been pushed by the wayside to make way for contemporary American film media. I make it all the way to Planet Video in the Perth suburb of Mt. Lawley by bus and then by foot. The store itself resembles a Hot Topic that mated with a Suncoast Video. Gothic clothing beside signed posters of Back To The Future. Their store is split into sales and rental departments. I was happily able to find a number of titles in the sales Cult section that can’t be found in the states. I found some crazy British horror titles along with aussie titles that I recalled from the documentary “Not Quite Hollywood.” There wasn’t much else in the sales department that wasn’t either already on my shelves at home or waiting in my netflix queue. I moved on to the rental department seeking more exciting things. The new release wall was quite small in relation to the rest of the store, but provided an excellent example of what rents in this town. Out of the 6 bays I saw maybe 2-3 titles that were Aussie releases. There were a great deal of international titles, but ones that I’ve been reading about, hearing about on podcasts, or have heard about within the last few weeks. Heather asked her coworker Joshua about the media in this country and its US obsession. He claims it’s cheaper for them to import tv shows and films than produce their own. I suppose that makes sense, but I would think it kinda robs that country of an identity that is lost otherwise to Crocodile Dundee reruns on Showtime. Not that those films are bad, but just as my family said on the day we left, “I guess it’s a good thing you’re going because nobody really knows anything about Australia here.” Well there you have it. The catalog of the store (minus games) was very impressive. Their independent section was labeled “Festival” and was massive. Around 5 bays were spined top to bottom with titles from every part of the world. I glanced through a few shelves knowing it was impossible to examine every title with the store closing in 7 hours. I moved on to the next few sections after skipping Comedy, Drama, Sci-Fi, and TV. The Cult, Horror, and International sections were full of gems. Moments later I held in my hand the one film that inspired Tarantino: Rolling Thunder. Above it the classic Mondo Caine was sitting in its torn plastic VHS case. I didn’t notice it until then but the bottom row of shelves in each section contains a few VHS titles. The cult sections were mostly all VHS. I took note of everything I saw and made certain to return soon. On the way out I picked up a few free pamphlets and booklets by the door. Shuffling through them I found a program guide to the Perth International Film Festival. Eureka! Starting in a week the festival will show 100 films in 10 days. I’m so there. Hopefully Heather will see a few films listed in the guide that will entice her as well. The skies cleared up and I started my walk back to the city. I passed a lovely little park with the greenest grass I’ve seen in about 10 years. Perth has quite a few of these little open parks scattered around the suburbs. With the level of commitment to sports that the citizens possess its no wonder that soccer/rugby/footy fields aren’t on every block. Back at home I made pasta with alfredo sauce for dinner. So far this week we’ve been good about cutting costs with making sensible meals and thankfully she gets home early enough that we have plenty of time to enjoy the evening. Seeing as how the town shuts down at 5pm finding things to do is our next challenge. Doesn’t anybody just hang out somewhere?

Another adventure. Another disappointment.

Walked to literally the next city over to find a video store to alleviate the boredom I get from watching free local tv. Much to my horror the store was barren and hadn’t been used for what looks like a year or two. With umbrella in hand and sweaty wet t-shirt on my back I criss-crossed the streets hoping to find the store had relocated. I walked up and down quaint little streets hoping to see something that would resemble a video store and eventually hoping to see something with a bathroom. I found Hay Street and took it all the way back into Perth stopping for some takeaway Chinese before getting back to the apartment. I dried my clothes and enjoyed my small $10 box of garlic chicken and curry rice. My second goal of the day was to gather more information on jobs and get some maps from the bus and train station. Having now walked two cities in the rain I felt that a more relaxed approach to this trip would be needed. I left the backpack at home and wore only my fleece jacket. Far too often I over dress for the weather and underestimate my ability to sweat constantly. The station was full of school kids heading home. The uniform with golden crests and knee length socks was something I’d never seen outside of the movies. Whatever stereotype you can conjure about school uniforms was present today. The tough guy trying real hard to look cool by rolling up his sleeves or smoking a cigarette and playing with his unbuttoned collar. The fat kid who barely fits into his uniform yet wears it proudly. The large groups of girls pecking away at their cell phone’s text pad and giggling all the while. The young man with a uniform so dirty he gives Linus a run for his money. All these kids with very decidedly British looking school uniforms felt to me very out of place here in Perth. Through my reading I’m beginning to understand more and more the history of this island nation and its English heritage. The uniforms against the backdrop of this city and its people are an excellent visual example of the awkward relationship Australia has with its mother country. I stop into a few backpacker businesses and inquire about work and grab a few maps on my way out to the bus stop. I miss the bus again after letting a girl go in front of me at the bus stop. I waited for her to board but she changed her mind at the last second and the bus driver closed the door thinking there were no more passengers boarding. I walked home. The rain let up a bit here and there making the trip not as bad as my previous ones. Seeing as how my video store adventure was a fail this morning I wanted so badly to redeem by day before it ended. The Harbour Town Mall is right next to our apartment building and with its many outlet type stores is a small movie and music shop that may be able to help. The staff were very helpful in pointing out a great place to rent videos that wasn’t too far away from downtown. Incidentally, it’s the store on my list I chose not to pursue because of its distance from me. Anyway, we talked about DVDs and how the US doesn’t import those great Aussie films from the 70s and 80s. The clerk was shocked to hear that those films aren’t found in the states. They were very glad to see an American taking some interest in their country’s films and I assured them I would return to buy something soon.
Our plan for the evening was to venture to the Northbridge section of Perth and meet up with the Perth Couchsurfers at The Brass Monkey pub. On the second floor of a very nice pub were seated about 6 or 7 of the people we saw listed to arrive. We each grabbed a pint and had a great time getting to know some locals and enjoying a cheap steak dinner as well. (Wednesday night special!) A few of them had even been to the States! They were all very nice people and made sure to invite us to further CS events. If possible we’re going to try and couchsurf a good bit during our weekend trips as well as the last few weeks before we head back to the States.

Update on the notebooks!

Yesterday was quite an adventurous day for me as well as a breaking point in my adapting to life not only in a city but also in OZ. My goals were to hit up an ATM, buy phones, check out some more movie stores in hopes of finding a blockbuster (or something), buy some groceries, and meander home. It was chilly and raining when Heather left for work at 8am. Knowing that much doesn’t happen around Perth until about 11am, I had some time to myself and time to wait out the rain. When the time came to head out I was in a tizzy. Preparing to go out into the world took me about 40 minutes. Not since my days in Morgantown had I spent so much time deciding what to wear and take with me on my journey. Back then it was across town on the PRT to the downtown campus for a day of classes and rehearsal. Who knew what kind of weather that city would hurl at you when you’re crossing the Mountainlair hoping to get home before the blizzard. Here in Perth I was fighting a worse dilemma. I had no car, no friendly place to duck into for a spell, and no friends to call if I needed a ride or help. With my coat and backpack ready I headed out with umbrella in hand. I headed up to Murray St. where I knew an ATM would be found. That section of the city is so quaint it reminds me of Salem or Williamsburg in a way: cobblestone streets, small out of the way stores, wide sidewalks filled with interesting people. After getting my turn at the bank machine I ducked into a newsstand to avoid a heavy shower and peruse the inventory. On a back wall near the children’s section was a shelf of basic notebooks and writing utensils. It was there I spotted Heather’s yellow covered notebook. Along with it placed in order of size were the other notebooks in the series: the small one for a pocket, the medium one for general list making, the steno-type one for more secretarial note taking (this one had a thicker cardboard backing and heartier spiral), the standard notebook sized one Heather received, and finally the large one that was purely a sketchpad type notebook seeing as how it was unlined. Placed alongside this group of notebooks were the usual fare of appointment books and composition books. I stepped back to have a good look at the entire lot and came to the same conclusion that I did yesterday about these things and their regulation for workers and school kids. The newsstand was filling up with patrons and I decided to not be the sore thumb sticking out with its awful American way of speaking. So far when addressing people in public to “excuse me” or something of the like I’ve been trying hard to adapt to their low quiet talk and say something like “Pardon” in a small voice and avoid my usual boisterous arm flailing motions and loud stupid laugh talk. You know, when I smile like a big goon and talk while laughing to elevate the mood of the experience. (And in some fashion draw attention to myself I think) I got out of the store and headed downtown in the pouring rain. I’ll spare the details of the experience because it wasn’t that exciting to begin with. I successfully navigated my way to the Dick Smith electronics store in hopes that the Brit who helped us the other day was working and would totally remember me and not take advantage of the stupid American like the other employees would do. Alas, he was busy and only after standing in front of the phone cabinet for 15 minutes did an employee notice me staring at him and motioning for him to help me. I like not being bothered in a store but not this time. Please bother me. Answer my questions. Take pity on me for not understanding the “top up” or the “credits” or all that other crap you’ve put in your phone plans to confuse everyone into spending too much money. The clerk was very nice (yeah I don’t remember his name) and I was able to get the phones with questions answered and my anxieties calmed. The rain continued to pour down heavily. My mood at this point was dropping because the worst part of the day was over and all there was to worry about was not getting soaking wet. I stopped into Woolworths and picked up a few items for dinner. Exiting the store I fought the idea of getting some quick food for lunch. The average lunch combo is about $10-$12. I still had some money to pay GT for rent and I didn’t want to dip into that for a pesky chicken wrap. I would tough it out and make lunch at home. Rounding the corner to the bus stop I watched as the bus I needed close its doors and accelerate uptown towards the apartment. Being the hardheaded person I am (thanks Pop) I clenched my shopping bag and turned to walk home. The rain continued to fall. I opened the apartment door and slowly peeled off the layers. Jeans and shirt went directly into the dryer. Shoes were opened up to air dry. The shopping bag sat in the sink to let the water run out. I hadn’t done everything I’d set out to do, but Heather would see that I did get the phones and would have food for dinner after she got home. I cleaned up and sat down with my Bill Bryson book to calm down. We got the phones working and talked about her coworker’s ability to put up with her questioning. One question she had was concerning the cost of Internet use here in OZ. Why the cap on data use? Her coworker Joshua says there is a monopoly on the internet here. One person owns the main data pipeline coming into the country. He can charge whatever he wants. Now that explains everything. I’m still comfortable using Heather’s connection at night and on weekends to keep our cost of living down and keep me from becoming a turd in the apartment parked in front of my laptop. We’re both tired by this time and bed sounds like a wonderful enterprise. I think I’ll take it easy tomorrow.

Life without a car, phone, internet or cable. Does it exist?

Living without a car and blocks from necessities makes me feel selfish and ungrateful for what I have at home. How do New Yorkers survive? I got more exercise today walking around the city than I have since I stopped marching. PLUS, with the city shutting down each evening there is an added incentive to getting up early. Well, it seems that being without convenience now extends to internet access. Heather’s office provides her with a laptop that has wireless broadband access. They said she could use the internet for personal use but we would have to pay for “usage” over the amount allotted for the card. Considering the cost of a separate USB modem with service each month we both agree that using her connection during the evenings and weekends will be enough to satisfy our internet desires. I was saddened for a second because I had really hoped to have a constant connection here at the apartment. Updating blogs, sending email, and general searching would have been the better part of my non-working day. However, I would also spend a great deal of time reading my usual blogs and wasting time that could be better spent reading, writing, and enjoying my new home away from home. This trip at its core is all about gaining new experiences and putting ourselves out there in the world. In just a few days we’ve learned how to deal with losing conveniences and how to live in a bustling, between the hours of 9 and 5, international city. What better way to begin a new life here than to strip away the wasteful things and live a more satisfying day.

Work without E-Mail? Is it possible?

After Heather got home from work we spent a good deal of time talking about her new role here in Perth as well as the big differences in working here than in the states. It seems as though the laid back quite culture here also extends into the business world. The Perth office seems to put more workload on the managers than on the senior staff members (Heather). So in turn Heather spent more time yesterday learning what she doesn’t have to do rather than what she has to do. So far she will be working not only with Aussies, but also a South African, a Russian, and a Zimbabwean. Very cool. This makes Orlando look like Mayberry. Her biggest shock of the day was how much the business world here in Perth is like the cultural world: always catching up in a backward fashion. E-mail isn’t widely used within the office except to announce a co-workers illness or inter-office events. Phone calls are recommended to keep managers updated on your day rather than a quick message from Outlook. It seems to me from our discussion that e-mail is looked upon as possibly being very impersonal and maybe inefficient? Along with her new work laptop she also brought home with her a bevy of notebooks and tablets. Each tablet was adorned with the Grant Thornton logo, pre-punched binder holes, and was laid out in a “fill in the labeled sections with the appropriate data” feel. They were similar to those phone message pads secretaries would fill out. My first reaction was that these tablets were used to show the higher-ups that Heather could perform certain tasks in a fill-in-the-blank sort of way before she could use Excel sheets and the like, possibly a necessary evil in the secondment route. I was corrected. These tablets are necessary for actual day-to-day work. Audits are done on paper. Most of their work from all angles is done on paper. Also in her stack of tablets was a yellow covered spiral notebook with normal lined pages. It looked very out of place. At first glance it had the appearance of a middle school notebook that had to be signed by your parents to affirm to the teacher that you did your homework. Evidently I wasn’t far off. Things like notebooks are also regulated here. Just going down to the Staples and buying a pack doesn’t happen. (I’ve seen ads for an office store so I will know more after that adventure.) How this works for school kids I’m not sure either, but when it comes to notebooks or paper in general for an office it seems policed. What does all this mean? I’m seeing a consistent trend of old ways bucked by the new. I’m not indicating that the US is the new, but rather technology is the new. Its growing and making everything it touches faster and quicker and easier to adapt to your life. We are so far away from everything here that its no wonder a phone call is preferred over an email. Hell, I’m the guy touting postcards and the written word over email everyday in Orlando! I’m interested to see if my tune will change after living here for 5 months.

The Aussie Vibe

Other than the accents and didgeridoo music from the town square, this place feels no more Australian than say Chicago or San Francisco. Sure the cars are European and the street signs are written differently, but all in all Perth feels like a suburb of a west coast city with a splice of 1950’s Southern values, British charm and Modern American culture. The US influence here is so saturated that Heather and I fit in extremely well until we open our mouths and speak. The brand names are everywhere and it seems just by looking at the youth that the appetite for these brands is huge. Obviously Adidas is popular due to its soccer, but FUBU, No Fear, DC Shoes, Mossimo, Fossil and Levi’s are all centered around an American demographic that in some way defines themselves by the brands. FUBU especially. I saw a white Aussie girl on the bus today wearing a Baby Phat hoodie. Good grief.

An evening in OZ

Perth is stuck somewhere in the 1950s in regards to its town’s hours of operation. When H learned that her working hours end at 5.00pm (that’s how they write time) she was thrilled. Getting home at a decent hour and having time to boot sounded great. Well, there is a reason for that hour of closing. The town shuts down at 5pm everyday, literally. You could film a post-apocalyptic film here without having to ask a single person to stay inside. The streets are empty. The silence is somewhere between Morgantown on a Sunday morning and eerie zombie movie. Few pubs, theaters, and restaurants stay open after 5pm. The weekends are extended to about 7 in some places. For some reason on Thursdays banks are closed and the town shuts down even earlier around 4-4.30. Where do these people go? What are they doing? Surely not everyone is at home gathered around the dinner table eagerly awaiting Dad to come home and regale the family with stories from work. After watching a few nights of TV here I can surely say that no one is running home to catch a great tv show. Have we not yet explored the late night section of the city? University students somewhere after 5 are drinking and partying, right?? I hear loud music downstairs sometimes in the evenings….is that them??!!

Most shocking experience so far?

Walking around downtown looking for cell phone stores we stopped into a Vodaphone shop to see the rates. Behind the podium influenced counter was a mid-20s asian woman wearing her company’s polo and typing into a laptop. I must continue to describe her so as to further help the experience. This woman in no way looks different from any other asian woman: black hair, light skin, feminine features, medium height, and thin build. We ask her almost simultaneously about the phone rates. She replies back with the heaviest Aussie accent I’ve ever heard. This woman makes Steve Irwin and Crocodile Dundee look like amateurs. I was floored.

Tally

1 Crazy Bushman who yells incoherently (I think) at kids.
0 Anti-American Aussies
1 Crazy homeless man talking to himself

Things we take for granted

Regulation of the Internet and cell phone use is tremendous. Coverage is everywhere and easily attainable for both internet and cell phones here in Perth. Our biggest shock was learning that when you purchase Internet for your home or wireless broadband you also must purchase a cap limit on your upload/download for each month. Let me say that again. You buy your internet on the basis of how much data you can transmit each month. Packages start from about 500mb up to 40gb. There are unlimited packages as well but that term is used very loosely. In reality they mean that the first 3g or 10g is will be transmitted at the highest speed available. After you have used you allotted number of “high speed” gigs you then have unlimited use as dial up speed provided that it is during non-peak hours. This concept is strange to us and we began to wonder how much data we actually send/receive each month. Seeing as how these limits even include actual web pages viewing time we felt our only choose was paying $150 for the highest “cap.” To make thing even better you can not get a land line in your home unless you sign up for a two year contract. Which mean that in order to get internet we have to buy a wireless USB modem for the low low price of $150.

Cell phones are even worse. I purposefully left our phones at home because using them here to phone each other as well as phone the states would cost at least a dollar a minute. To me that was too expensive and finding a cheaper local alternative would suit us better for calls to each other. We had planned to use Skype as our long distance alternative but Skype is now out due to the Internet “cap”. We looked all over the city at the pre-paid phone plans and left each store with mouth agape. The plans, the prices, the “caps”, the credits, the recharges, and the phones are all wrapped in a ridiculously confusing and expensive existence. Aussies pay out the ass for their cell phone use. Calls to each other are about a dollar a minute. Texts are around 50c to each other. Forget about calling someone on another network! Data plans for iphones and the like are even more confusing and expensive. The term “Rollover minutes” is foreign here. Every minute you purchase expires at the end of the month, every text plan you purchase expires at the end of the month.

Thanks to a Brit working in an electronics store who explained it all to us after helping another US couple we were able to make a little more sense of it all. So far talking to him as been the most humbling experience we’ve had in Perth. When we asked him why the cell phone plans and internet were so expensive and awkward he said, “The US and China are way ahead in technology and Australia is always trying to keep up. You have no idea what kind of technology you’ve got up there compared to here”. Whoa! We walked away from him thankful that he helped us out but also shitty that we are the stupid Americans who don’t know how good we’ve got it.

We’ve taken advantage of our technology and assumed that the rest of the world was far superior or at least on equal ground. Being a Brit made the blow a little softer than if he were an Aussie, but I couldn’t help but look at H and see the same feelings reflected back. In a crowded electronics store filled with the latest technology it suddenly became clearer. On an endcap were cassette recorders for dictation that could not even be described as pocket sized. A basic Sony model: $70. PS3 games: $107. True there were items way cheaper here than the states, but mostly everything is expensive and limited. It all made sense now.

No wonder the kids on the bus were using their phones to listen to mp3s. Each two year contract comes with 100 free downloads from their respective mobile store, why waste your home internet “cap” on music that you can get right from your phone? I also saw two random kids talk to each other about the music on their phones and then exchange the music via Bluetooth. Brilliant! Why buy more music from the phone’s store or download at home when you can ask the random dude next to you on the bus to share his playlist via email? Seeing that made me happy for the youths of Perth, they were finding ways around the “caps”. Did I still feel like a selfish American who doesn’t know what he’s got? Yeah I did. I don’t feel sorry for those kids or the technological hardships they must endure, but maybe I’ll spend less time yelling at my cable modem and more time seeing how the rest of the world lives.